Flipping Nora goes paragliding

 

I would not describe myself as adventurous however during the past seven years, I have managed to stay alone in a hotel in the middle of Abu Dhabi completely unaware of where I was, keep chickens, get half-drowned by an elephant, take up painting, sing with a drag queen in a karaoke in Key West, break a toe paragliding and buy a caravan.  I also considered open water swimming but I got stuck at home, alone, in the wet suit for over an hour so gave up on that idea plus I am scared of fish. 

I am not sporty.  I would like to be able to run as I think it looks cool but it is really not cool when I do it.  I have tried the 'walk to one lamppost and run to another' training plan but I really don’t get that so give up.  I enjoy swimming although had a terrible experience recently when I went to an over 50 session at the local pool.  I have never seen so many old people in the one place and it was not a pleasant sight.  Even in the ‘fast’ lane, they were standing still.  I was like some kind of Olympic triathlon speeding along.  I could not get the image out of my head for days.   So not sporty and I certainly have no coordination.  I remember when I was little my grandmother trying to teach me to roller skate, it didn’t end well.  I try.  I try to get in and out of things gracefully e.g. rowing boats but the more I think about it the less graceful I appear.  The paragliding broken toe was inevitable. 

I would like to be able to say I had many skills e.g. sewing.  I could think of nothing more satisfying than making my own curtains.  I did try to learn this skill and bought a lovely sewing machine but I seem to have a complete inability to be able to follow a pattern and I can’t cut straight.  I have enjoyed baking in the past although according to my children they only remember me baking for a week.  I am not a chef and again, I have tried.  I bought all Nigella Lawson’s cook books and one Christmas we had her Italian special and Chocolate Pear pudding which did seem to be a success but not since repeated.  In the past, I have enjoyed painting classes (although I find it exasperatingly difficult to understand light, shade and distance), ballroom dancing classes,  horse riding lessons, chicken handling workshops, Doula training and surfing. 

I am not into clubs but I did go on a couple of women only walking holidays and the aforementioned surfing weekend which were fun although I really should hire gear instead of buying as I end up having to sell it anyway (like the sewing machine).  I have a lovely cycle bike.  It’s not a bike for cycling though as in going fast.  It is a Dutch bike and lends itself to a leisurely stroll along the sea front.  I always wear a dress and sunglasses and take money for a coffee or ice cream.

Having concluded therefore that I am pretty useless in a practical way, I have, for some inexplicable reason, bought a caravan.  I fully intend going to France one day in it but first have to get her and me road worthy.