Years of experience of travelling with teenagers has taught me this:
1. Do not expect conversation
2. Take a good book with you (see point 1 above)
3. Plan where to eat beforehand as a hungry teenager is not pleasant. 3(a) Double whatever you have budgeted for food and drink
4. Plan your day carefully and remember that you will be awake at dawn and want to go to bed at 8pm whilst the teenager will want to sleep till noon and be awake till midnight
5. Take two good books with you (see points 1, 2 and 4 above)
6. Leave sufficient time each day for the teenager's shower, hair and make up ritual (take careful note of point 4 above as this could mean you do not leave the hotel until 2.30pm)
7. Take some magazines with you (see points 6, 5, 4, 2 and 1 above)
8. You may be visiting one of the most photographed cities in the world but although the teenager will take lots of photographs, it will not be of the architecture, canals and bridges. The photographs will be self portraits known as 'selfies'. These will be shared via twitter, Facebook and Instagram at ten minute intervals
9. Check once, twice and even a third time that wherever you are going has Wi-Fi (see points 1 and 8 above)
10. Remember that teenagers cannot walk very far and need refuelling every 15mns (see point 3 above). Use food and shopping as incentives for walking more than half a mile (pack snacks)
11, Do not try to be clever. Keep it simple. Your attempts at trying to speak the local language will not be appreciated by the teenager who will see this as a direct attempt to humiliate and embarrass him/her.
12. Upon your arrival home you may feel despair that the teenager had the most awful time with you but through the world of social media and not conversation (see points 1 and 9 above above), you will learn that the teenager had the most amazing trip ever. You will not need to tell anyone where you went as you appear to have checked in everywhere on Facebook.
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